Confusion.....

There are so many things I am thankful for in life- also some things that are really frustrating to me. I try my hardest to make it work being out here of course for me its harder to find friends that I want to hang with etc. Ren is better at that than me, but its very frustrating when he gets annoyed if I want to hang out with people he supposidly likes but won't call them friends- Then when I invite him somewhere he always turns me down and says "No, I'm good" WTF?

Living way out here is very hard because I have no where to run to or anyone to sit and talk with- I am normally pretty good with dealing with things on my own I dont know if its because I am out here feeling on my own right now.

I am not sure if its me, him or both..I would say both- We have had many issues in the past that we have have dealt through on our own. But I do know that his MS takes a toll on his emotinal stability- My personal issues takes a huge toll on my emotional stability also. When we are both balance its like we just enjoy life and go with the flow. When were not balanced we have a hard time keeping eachother happy. Not intenional, I think sometimes we either try to hard or we don't try hard enough. I ask myself how do we make this work? when you have obstacles in the road. When you love someone for who they are and you accept their flaws and you hope they accept yours-

But sometimes it feels like such a struggle- I don't want out that is for sure. I love Ren with all my heart and when are doing good we are doing good. It will work out for both of us in the long run just getting through the depression stuff and not only his MS but the loss of our daughter is something very difficult for us to deal with.