So confused...

I am so confused on how things are playing out right now. Not sure if and what is my fault right now, not sure if there is anything I can do to change any of it. It's like I want to be the one to save him, but I don't know what I am doing, or trying to do.
Obviously I don't have all the same feelings he has so it's very hard to understand how he is feeling. He says he basically doesn't care about anything or anyone's feelings right now. Which is very hard for me because even when I am having a hard time in life I still care about how I treat the ones that love me because I care about them.
I guess it's his way of dealing with things by pushing the ones he says he loves away so sooner or later they won't have to deal with him. He calls is "Saving" them. I don't want to be saved. I don't think its fair to the kids to have to deal with this, they love him and seeing him hurting is enough in it self. Let alone having him push them away is even worst when they don't understand.
Their own biological dad pretty much pushed them out of his life so he could "Do Him" so the fact he is doing the same makes it even harder on them. They just want to be loved, and cared for.

I am still so unsure where we are going. I have always thought we was that example of a great couple that everyone wanted to be like. No the Cosby's but the Hackley's that love eachother and would do anything for eachother. But now I am not sure what we are. I can't tell if we are coming or going. I can't figure if it will change because it's all hurting so much and moving so fast.

What I want out of this......My husband back, the one I married that loved and adored me, the one that I would look at and ask myself is this really happening. The one that would be there for me. I know he can't always be the strong one, I know right now he is weak and sad, and that is ok. But I do want the one man that I married that will allow me to be there for him thru it all. That will not push me away or get mad because I am showing I am concerned or I care. I understand where he is in life right now is painful, emotional, physically draining, and just scary. But I want to help him with all those things. I can't take them away but I can help understand if he would allow me. I can hold him when he cries if he would let me. I can rub his head when he is sad. I can listen when he wants to vent. I can love him forever if he will let me.